I have been in recovery for addiction for the better part of 3 1/2 years. I had been developing my addictions for much longer, since my adolescents. I want to talk more about it. SEX Addiction.
I just started reading Russell Brands new book, Recovery. I am not too far into it but he writes about what he calls The Age of Addictions. I agree with this idea, and it is so evident in my life. In a nutshell, addiction thrives in isolation, and My generation, GEN. EX, is bringing a new level of isolation to the planet. The internet has changed everything, like it or not, the Human race will never be the same.
Here is Something that I have pondered much lately; People today spend more time watching porn than ever before, and seeking online thrills, too many to even count. Alone, in a room or maybe sitting on a stationary bike at the gym swiping through pictures of potential hook-ups. Sometimes setting up a date through an app, but maybe just hooked on the thrill of the chase. THE CHASE. Adrenaline addiction mixed with Sex addiction, that sounds like fun, right? From my experience its downright fucked-up and dangerous.
I will admit, I’ve been on these sites, looking for a connection, looking for a thrill, looking for an escape. Looking to disappear. I did disapear and so did tons of my time and money. And so did my soul. Being hooked on Porn at a young age(15ish), but I’m grateful I wasn’t any younger. It got me going down a rabbit hole that was self-destructive and demoralizing. I was paying for adult sites by the time I was 20 years old, I was exploring the black hole of the internet sex trade world all in isolation.
(for some extra education here is some science for you on the matter of porn addiction)
Sex is so powerful. The effects on the brain are so intense and dangerous to a young mind it makes me wonder why the government hasn’t put age restrictions on it like all their other laws for countless drugs and even healthy natural HERBS and Mushrooms. To me sex is more intoxicating than any drug, and today online sex trafficking is accepted and normal. I talk a lot about porn on here, its the most accessible and most common but don’t think that it won’t progress. It will. My addiction did. To protect the people I love and maybe even myself I will keep the list short but if you are dealing with addiction, specifically Sex/Porn, send me an email. I would love to share deeper my experience and help you find Recovery.
Paying for sex. Have you ever paid for sex? Is sex worth money to you? Masturbation. Would you pay just to masturbate? So many people are doing it, it must be ok. Although the morality of Masturbation can be debated, I will just say it depends on your life and what you want out of it. When your mind has become a prison then you must ask yourself why?
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.” – Bob Marley , Redemption Song
I was raised Christian. Lutheran, more specifically. I can’t remember any real discussions about the matter, unfortunately. But what I have learned from this religion is that the material which we use to masturbate is where the problem lies. Fantasy, pornography. The objectification of someone else. This behaviour is the “Devil.”
These inner desires that I have, where do they come from? If I’m caught in my addiction bubble and wanting a fix why do I turn to what I turn to? The genres in the porn world are Deep and Vast. But it doesn’t stop with Porn, the industry has progressed just as the addiction always progresses. Everything evolves. Everything.
I have found myself searching for things that I never dreamed of before. Maybe I felt powerless that day, and needed a power Trip. Maybe I was angry and just needed to destroy something beautiful. Maybe my broken heart needed an escape and the only person I could find to comfort me was the beautiful, broken, exploited woman just a few clicks away.
Human touch is amazing. Bruce Springsteen new it and wrote a song about it. It has the power to lift someones spirits. A Hug can turn a bad day around. So just think about what sex can do.
I like to think of my addiction, Sex Addiction, as one of the most human things about me. All of us are flawed. Not one person is perfect, and if they are just wait, time will fuck them up sooner or later. To be human is to be flawed. That is the Beauty of it. This life isn’t about trying to feel good all the time. Running from problems, ignoring truths. It is about embracing them. Even when they are hard as FUCK. Addictions are the symptoms of deeper problems. We must learn about them, understand them, grow from them and share them. My addictions include many, even Human touch, but that is just a symptom. Im lacking human touch, lacking connection, real connection with real people. Sentient Beings. You & Me.
Recovering Sex Addict
Braydon R. Wollmann